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There is this story about a man driving home from work, who queued up in traffic and another car with few guys and more ladies queued beside him. He turned to have a glance and the ladies inside began to tease him, he smiled and raised his left hand, showing off his marriage ring “I’m married girls” he said. And they replied “hope happily” and immediately both zoom off to their different ways. Those ladies were gone but all through the night he kept asking himself one question he couldn’t answer. “Am I happily married”?

A lot of people have married for 2 years, some 7 years, some 15 years and few 30 years, yet it’s not how long your marriage has lasted or how many marriage anniversaries you have celebrated that makes your marriage successful, so don’t brag about it, although I have to give you kudos for that but success in marriage is tie to how long your happiness lasted. To some it comes and goes, to others it has come and gone and to few it came and stayed. However, I can tell you how long you have been married if I know exactly when you two got married but honestly I can’t tell you the last time you were happy about your marriage, I can’t tell, if you are still happy you got married to each other or you wished it was another person you would have married. Neither can I tell if you are happy that he or she is the father or the mother of your child or if you wished she was more beautiful and educated or he was a little bit taller and richer.

There are many couples, who once were happily married but today are just married and if it may interest you to know what happened to “happily” the husband and the wife are the right people to let you know. Nowadays, I see the way some couples behave and I keep asking myself if what I saw was really part of the vow they made but the truth is, you make your marriage what you want it to be, a laughing stock or a model, it’s a choice. So to those of us, not yet married, who just want to get married and settle down with the love of our life, you will not only choose the man or woman that you will marry, the wedding dress or ring to wear, you will have to choose the kind of marriage you want to have, to be happily married for 2 days, 2 years, 5 years or for the rest of your life. You may not be able to make that decision before marriage because all you want to do is to get married but at least think about it and make sure you have no doubt about you having the kind of marriage you want. But one second after marriage, the next thing on your mind, should not be how to enjoy honeymoon but how to make every day of you marriage honey moon because to some couples honey moon was when they were ever happy they got married and if it took you months to prepare for the kind of wedding you had that was for a day, then it’s going to take you every day after your marriage to have a successful marriage life. But note it is not only the wife that makes marriage work; husbands have a part to play if their marriage must work. So marriage is not an easy choice to make but a big choice before you and once in a life time choice. So choose wisely so that you won’t be tempted to choose the second time


About itycharles

There is so much to tell about me but unfortunately i know just little about myself because everyday i keep discovering who i am and who i am not hence i wake up in the morning ready to be who ever i am.


8 thoughts on “HAPPILY MARRIED

  1. Very nice! Coming from one who has been happily married for 20 years this August, I can say that not everyday you feel that ‘happiness’ because in any relationship it takes work to make it work. And because we are different, we think and feel different and the inevitable happens when the other person does not think or act like we think they should. But the reason our marriage works is because we work on it, like you said, both of us work on it. Yes, there are seasons you let things slide, but then there comes another season when you realize you need to wake up and put more effort in your marriage. I do have to say though as a comment to something you said, that many don’t have a chance to decide beforehand on a happy marriage… maybe that is why ours has been successful. We did in fact talk about this before we got married. That we will never let our first love die. That we don’t want to be those couples who eventually become just room mates. And we made up our minds up front that divorce is not an option ever. I am pretty sure this is the reason we have been successful in our marriage. We still live in love and many see ours as an example to follow. Again, that is not to say we haven’t hit rough spots, all marriages do. And yes, sometimes you wish the other person was different. But in the end, Love is a choice, not a feeling. I choose to love my husband even though sometimes I wish he was a little bit more this or that. Good post. I wish for you also, when the time comes, to make up your mind together with this special woman, that your marriage will be happy because you choose upfront that it will be so.

    Posted by Lisette Defoe | April 16, 2013, 9:45 am
    • A big thank you to you LISETTE DEFOE for taking the time to share your life. I must confess just reading your comment have changed my mind about a whole lot of issues. And how i wish our young people gets to know these truth you have shared because nothing is really wrong with marriage but with the couples . once again, i am grateful

      Posted by itycharles | April 16, 2013, 3:14 pm
      • You are most welcome! I love the topic and wish all marriages could realize you don’t have to walk down the isle with “divorce being a way out when things don’t go your way anymore” as an open option in the back of your mind. Because the first opportunity that arrises, the enemy will start playing that card. Blessings to you!

        Posted by Lisette Defoe | April 16, 2013, 3:19 pm
  2. Thank you for visiting my blog today. I appreciate the time you took to stop by. May your day be filled with joy and peace.

    Posted by fgassette | April 18, 2013, 1:55 am
  3. I think having tried really hard in three marriages to make things work, that you were correct in saying it takes both parts of the couple to make the marriage. I have met men who have tried and lost their love, women who tried, too. It is hard not to get complacent, like the woman, Lisette, wrote, letting time go by without taking the time to show your really care, she mentioned some seasons even… This was a well thought out post! I think it is too bad there are not more people putting their 2 cents in!

    Posted by reocochran | April 19, 2013, 1:10 am
  4. My wife and I, 41 years married and I knew her for 2+ years before. Still happily married? You want the truth? Yes and even more so today than when we met, but neither one of us could have loved the way we love today if it wasn’t for the Savior that promised us in His Word that “even though we may stumble, He will not let us fall to be broken!” He kept His promise and Susie and I are more blessed today than when we “thought” we were in love! It doesn’t mean that we didn’t have some rough times of it, but it is those rough times, the times in the “valley of shadow” that allowed us to see the bright and glorious sunshine of the morning!! That old saying that “practice makes perfect?” Well, if you keep practicing it means you haven’t given up. True it takes both to keep practicing, but I always look back on why I fell head over heels in the first place. You know what? I was so blind back then, my vision so clouded. But it got better with age, our love grew stronger AND deeper and now, when we speak what we’re thinking almost at the same time, our kids look at us and shake their heads and think we have developed ESP or something! The truth is, as we grew closer and more intimate with our Savior, our love for each other grew closer and more intimate as well. That is what is lacking today. You HAVE to have something to build on in the first place or else you are playing roulette or blackjack or something like that. Instead of a sure thing, without a foundation, a “Cornerstone” so to speak, your only starting out with a maybe thing and the further along society goes, the harder it is becoming to “win” at marriage! I can truly remember when the divorce rate was at a third of all marriages. Today it is above half! I wouldn’t trade ALL the riches this earth has to offer (there is no treasure in this world) for half of what I have today. Call me a crack-pot or a religious nut or whatever, but I have the greatest love this side of Heaven because of the greatest love coming from Heaven!
    I don’t usually preach, I usually teach, sorry about that. But, I truly do enjoy your posts as I have been following them since you first stopped by my site. Keep up the great thoughts and I’ll keep coming back. God Bless you Bro, I’m glad you stopped by so I could be encouraged!! ‘Til later!!

    Posted by Pastor Roland Ledoux | April 20, 2013, 2:22 pm
    • pastor, I lack words to describe your input and contribution. 41years still happily married is not a ‘jokular’ issue permit me to used that word even though it might not exist. let me say that you and your beautiful wife are the reason we know that there is hope for marriages in the face of too many divorce, that couples can still live happily together. once again I am most grateful you stop by to comment

      Posted by itycharles | April 20, 2013, 9:19 pm

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