I make my bed immediately I wake up, pray and have my bath. I get easily irritated when things are not kept in their places; shoes in shoe rack, clothing in the wardrobe and stationary in the cupboard. I don’t like sharing my personal item with people, no matter how close nor like too much company and can’t sleep when the light, radio or television is on. That is me (the woman).
He prays first; have his bath before making his bed. He would rather hang clothes around or keep them on the bed, drops his shoes wherever and his stationary on tables, chairs and on the bed. He likes company, friends, and family and would share himself with them if it was possible. And if the lights are not on, the radio or television too he won’t sleep. That is him (the man).
Then one day we met and fell in love. One day he proposes to me and one day we got married, just like that. But how on earth are we supposed to succeed in living together when we are not just from a different world but from the opposite world.
It is true, we live in separate worlds as singles but once you are married, it’s a different world from the single’s world because it is no longer man and woman but husband and wife. But the pathetic thing is that many still prefer to live as a man and woman after marriage when they are supposed to live as husband and wife. The husband expects the wife to adapt to his values and principles and so does the wife expect the husband to accept her values and principles. There is nothing really wrong with the way you have been living your life but when you now have to live together in marriage there must be some adjustment if the marriage must succeed. Someone has to adjust down and someone has to adjust up because it’s not about who heads the home or not but about the success of the marriage. Therefore, when you are married, it was not only a change of name or status, I, me and you also changed to us and we. Thus what should we eat is different from what will you eat, what will you wear is different from what should we wear and what school should our kids attend is different from what school do you want the kids to attend.
The truth is that you or me has never made any relationship work until it is us, but the unfortunate thing is that so many want to determine the pace of their marriage or relationship alone, when they should live together the way they should or the way they both agree to. Therefore the problem now is that many married men and women are still living like single men or single women, they go out when they want, dress anyhow they want and walk with anybody they like, it is still about them so they can’t succeed because when they were single they thought and acted like singles and now they are married they are still thinking and acting like singles.